Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

obeymari

Search for a member

obeymari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 426
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About obeymari : Basketball player!!!

obeymari's page activity

Visits<b>happy_guy1260</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:31pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:39am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Mr_Ziza</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:45am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:24am<b>Ausdank</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:34pm<b>Dodger_fan16</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:45am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:54pm<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:20pm<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:04am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:05am<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 7:43am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:02am<b>Cornish</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:34pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:40am

obeymari's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of obeymari's badges

obeymari's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

#21406510
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (2630)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:23pm - animals - by MyNameIsNotJeff (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (2496)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31212) - you deserved it (5238)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (3643)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (8017)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31087) - you deserved it (2877)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13990) - you deserved it (26867)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

#21395531
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (2476)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by assault and imnotracistbuttery (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

#21392927
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (2619)

On 04/13/2015 at 12:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27370) - you deserved it (5053)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (2822)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29433) - you deserved it (6240)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: