oathkeeper99

Search for a member

Offline (17 minutes ago)

oathkeeper99

82Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10814
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

oathkeeper99's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:23am<b>AndronicusPark</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:46am<b>vh_musiclover</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 7:21pm<b>Mightytall</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 4:18am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 1:55pm<b>minxchi</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:03pm<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 4:43pm<b>KaneCR</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:33pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 10:09am<b>thatboysam</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:21pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:52pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:27pm<b>lscottygl</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:10pm<b>JoshWade62</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 3:39am<b>jow96</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 5:56pm<b>Cities</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 3:38pm<b>roman11</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 11:26am

Fucked!<b>AnthraxPrincess</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:11am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:23am<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:08pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>yoblackgranny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>dcam13</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:48pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:34pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:39pm<b>DayDay98</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>lolol123</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:17pm

oathkeeper99's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of oathkeeper99's badges

oathkeeper99's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

by kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment / 01/17/2016 at 8:48pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 3:45am / India (West Bengal) / Love

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

by a_dani365 / 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm / United States (Nebraska) / Holidays

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

by cat.imakittycat. / 04/07/2015 at 3:14am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Animals

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

by parkoursam / 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

by Y_Y / 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I drove an hour to a friend's wedding. Realizing I was too early, I sat in my car at a gas station and watched The Office to kill time. I walked in to see the newly married couple escorting the last few rows out. I had been told the wrong time and the wedding was over. FML

by hales90 / 08/10/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.