Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nutellacake

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

nutellacake

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 71
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nutellacake's page activity

Visits<b>snippit</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:14am

nutellacake's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nutellacake's badges

nutellacake's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (2617)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (5939)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52737) - you deserved it (4920)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (14635)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57756) - you deserved it (5793)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59729) - you deserved it (5132)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53067) - you deserved it (9159)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47788) - you deserved it (10072)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64787) - you deserved it (5966)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (5678)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31960) - you deserved it (15434)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML

#17294240
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32517) - you deserved it (13835)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:19am - love - by failure - United States (California)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16282) - you deserved it (77234)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (85690)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: