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nubbles10's favorite FMLs
by stewardess / 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople / 08/11/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
by cocacola999 / 05/03/2014 at 6:38am / United Kingdom / Health
by BetterThanChocolate / 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
by sickbaby / 06/11/2011 at 9:06am / Singapore / Health
by nipman / 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of… Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to… Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the…