About nstout901 : Hey. I have been on FML for a couple years but keep forgetting my password. So I had 4-5 profiles. Fave users include, but not limited to, Perdix, DocBastard, welshite.
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nstout901's favorite FMLs
Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 5:01am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 7:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by sicksicksick / 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
by a little less poor at least / 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money
by kenyaliving / 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm / Romania (Cluj) / Work
by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by AmberHavoc / 01/02/2013 at 10:01am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by brunetteshavemorefun / 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
by Eganstein / 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML
by NoMagicMike / 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
by me / 06/08/2012 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…