About nowusee : king peter lives on
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nowusee's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML
by whymanwhy / 04/13/2015 at 6:43am / Czech Republic / Love
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML
by Biggest Jerk / 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them… Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I… Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the…