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nourHERE's favorite FMLs
by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by hakuna_matata / 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
by smyp / 12/24/2015 at 12:34pm / Lithuania / Love
by AustrianCow / 12/22/2015 at 4:45pm / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love
by BadLuck / 12/21/2015 at 6:45am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Kids
Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML
by anonymous / 12/09/2015 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
by meg__1798 / 12/08/2015 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML
by Lala / 12/08/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by badbitch23 / 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by jimmy / 11/30/2015 at 4:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, we buried my mom. I walked past my sister's husband just in time to hear him mutter: "Hope the fire's nice and hot down there, you old hag." I told my sister. She wouldn't believe me and accused me of trying to start drama. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2015 at 12:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
- Today, my husband thought it would be funny to wear a clown mask and scare me in the shower while i… Today, me and my husband were using very realistic water guns. While aiming at eachother, my eight… Today I got a message from a girl I've been dating; I've dated a few women the last couple of years…