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notsosmilee

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notsosmilee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 40
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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notsosmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40618) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (11960)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29242) - you deserved it (7833)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (2796)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13627) - you deserved it (3698)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18022) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

#20192758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (1231)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (920)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17869) - you deserved it (37314)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (1525)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10508) - you deserved it (24498)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (6938)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

#17649393
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (44956)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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