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notsosmilee

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 8:58am) | Search for a member

notsosmilee

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  • Number of visits : 69
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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notsosmilee's FML badges

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notsosmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43706) - you deserved it (4336)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (12717)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31958) - you deserved it (8170)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (3021)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (5386)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33171) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (4794)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

#20192758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (1523)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (7038)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19746) - you deserved it (41003)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (1642)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12324) - you deserved it (27505)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (7250)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

#17649393
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (49311)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)



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