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notsick

Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 4:12am) | Search for a member

notsick

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 760
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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notsick's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39965) - you deserved it (4202)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38823) - you deserved it (7980)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (4043)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55803) - you deserved it (9894)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (4284)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (8613)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31967) - you deserved it (8171)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6591) - you deserved it (27089)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21753) - you deserved it (3872)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (6600)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (5194)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (6604)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (1568)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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