Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

notjanedoe

Search for a member

notjanedoe
  • Town/Country : Malmö, Sweden
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 December 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 561
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About notjanedoe : Nothing to see here. do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

notjanedoe's last visitors

AfroCircusManreapper9000BicBoi996Quiltme00coleiab125gary3768favone123

notjanedoe's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of notjanedoe's badges

notjanedoe's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30354) - you deserved it (3621)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35473) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (3951)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (5708)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8801) - you deserved it (19680)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (3048)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (5341)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34620) - you deserved it (3110)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

#8158175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19983) - you deserved it (1709)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

#8140774
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4301) - you deserved it (20495)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

#8131977
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19128) - you deserved it (1797)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by yourstruly - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37747) - you deserved it (2611)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: