notjanedoe

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notjanedoe

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 December 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1828
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About notjanedoe : Nothing to see here. do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

notjanedoe's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:45pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:15pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:42am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:16pm<b>lemmegetsumpizza</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:13am<b>Siehnados</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:25am<b>Mafia_</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:54pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:29pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:04pm<b>TheKingy1991</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:31am<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:43am<b>batah</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:02am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:34am<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:38am<b>Monster27</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:15pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:31pm<b>freedomna</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:45pm

notjanedoe's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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notjanedoe's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

by bear / 03/26/2013 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

by f-ugly / 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm / United States / Love

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

by it's just a name / 01/10/2013 at 12:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

by SummersEve / 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

by yourstruly / 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous