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nothing92x's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML
by everyonesdivorced / 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm / Iraq (Baghdad) / Love
by Icy / 10/01/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
by egged / 10/01/2009 at 2:43am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML
by UnemployedGrad / 09/25/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by R-R-R-Ray / 09/25/2009 at 10:37am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy
by BOOMerang / 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by scaredtosleep / 09/24/2009 at 5:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by whasian / 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML
Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML
by omgstfuplz / 09/16/2009 at 4:38am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started… Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he… Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just…