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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 5578
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my temp agency sent me out for an interview for a great job. The interviewer and I hit it off. She asked if I could start later today. She said she'd call after making up a contract. She didn't call. My temp agency called to tell me the interviewer was fired right after my interview. FML

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84296) - you deserved it (20473)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66576) - you deserved it (6357)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

#2593588
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64452) - you deserved it (3603)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119601) - you deserved it (6629)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

#2459648
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47739) - you deserved it (4338)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

#2395953
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10118) - you deserved it (51167)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by M2thaM (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was looking online for an alternative number for the interior decorator that is making curtains for me because I couldn't get hold of him. Instead of his number I found a website warning people about him, saying he is a conman. I paid a very big deposit. FML

#2302399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46359) - you deserved it (17814)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:48am - money - by Screwed (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

#2298945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12658) - you deserved it (47620)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

#2109937
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70112) - you deserved it (6539)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33689) - you deserved it (146283)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45258) - you deserved it (8846)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (78597)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML



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