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nothing92x

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nothing92x

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5975
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83971) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63467) - you deserved it (4330)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141426) - you deserved it (10069)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71113) - you deserved it (3851)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60011) - you deserved it (3118)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my temp agency sent me out for an interview for a great job. The interviewer and I hit it off. She asked if I could start later today. She said she'd call after making up a contract. She didn't call. My temp agency called to tell me the interviewer was fired right after my interview. FML

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84345) - you deserved it (20478)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66606) - you deserved it (6357)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

#2593588
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64479) - you deserved it (3607)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119715) - you deserved it (6636)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

#2459648
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47771) - you deserved it (4339)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

#2395953
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10131) - you deserved it (51193)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by M2thaM (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was looking online for an alternative number for the interior decorator that is making curtains for me because I couldn't get hold of him. Instead of his number I found a website warning people about him, saying he is a conman. I paid a very big deposit. FML

#2302399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46385) - you deserved it (17818)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:48am - money - by Screwed (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

#2298945
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12665) - you deserved it (47639)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Florida)



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