nothing92x

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Offline (the 08/24/2015 at 8:16am)

nothing92x

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8999
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's page activity

Visits<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 3:12pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:42pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:41pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:44pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:21pm<b>KayleyBaby37</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:17pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:55pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:41pm<b>bab3ruthl3ss</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:36pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:39am<b>Ajwc95</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:36am<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:28am<b>Lacalema</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:38am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:57pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:38pm<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:13am<b>reburkah</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 7:36pm

Fucked!<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:28am<b>gracehi</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:47am

nothing92x's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

by dunno why we bother / 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 12:43am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

by starfishedasshole / 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

by Cult / 03/30/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

by ohdear. / 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

by the other guy? / 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

by bringthemback / 03/29/2014 at 6:34am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

by Punphmelch / 03/26/2014 at 4:45am / Australia (South Australia) / Animals

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god / 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm / United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea) / Love

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

by HelpMe / 02/25/2014 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The) / Animals

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love