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nothing92x

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nothing92x
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2552
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39586) - you deserved it (5591)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (5421)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (4496)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

#21094457
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (3506)

On 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53909) - you deserved it (4099)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46034) - you deserved it (3008)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (3456)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43458) - you deserved it (7324)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53680) - you deserved it (22243)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

#21020871
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46867) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Jae_Hellyun (man) - United States

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

#21017461
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50010) - you deserved it (3307)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:11am - love - by Fiancé problemsss - United States (Montana)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44857) - you deserved it (11662)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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