About noshatsherlockk : Born to do the dishes.
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noshatsherlockk's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML
by Monday / 12/02/2011 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML
by Liz / 06/09/2011 at 12:21am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML
by Fatality / 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…