norge83

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norge83

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3822
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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norge83's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 8:05am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:53am<b>Bassist_Ibanez</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:11pm<b>awkwardfroggy</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:00am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 9:10pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 12:03am<b>ecoolio</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 10:49am<b>Kuhu1993</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 10:03am<b>phoenixrises</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 4:09am<b>truestorytotell</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 1:23am<b>aliyourpally</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:58pm<b>hearters</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 2:57am<b>madamefabulous</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 11:00am<b>poregon</b> - the 04/16/2012 at 6:41pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 2:05pm

norge83's FML badges

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norge83's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

by Ihatemyjob / 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

by noooooooo / 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 10:40am / Latvia / Miscellaneous

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

by jen / 03/14/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Health

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

by bruised / 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 10:05am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2013 at 10:03am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

by cunts, cunts everywhere / 03/11/2013 at 7:57am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

by marcymoo / 03/11/2013 at 12:09am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous