noodleyhead

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Offline (the 04/15/2014 at 7:06am)

noodleyhead

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 196
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About noodleyhead : I don't know why anyone would want to be reading this, but if you are, then hello.

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noodleyhead's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 2:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

by flustered / 05/06/2012 at 10:57am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Maryland) / Geek

Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML

by ... / 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

by apparentlyawomanbeater / 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Transportation

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

by Not_you17 / 09/09/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

by ugly / 07/10/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous