nonameheffa

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nonameheffa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3605
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nonameheffa : Class of '16 I like books .

nonameheffa's page activity

Visits<b>Atomic_Mushroom</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:40pm<b>br1015</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 7:08am<b>ColtonStecher</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:25am<b>GweedSincE84</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:53pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 11:16pm<b>AMonica</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:25pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 12:10am<b>XxCrystalSxX</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 7:09pm<b>XavierG__</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 8:27pm<b>Notyours007</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 12:11am<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 12:34am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 9:22am<b>treychat1</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:00pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 8:44pm<b>Lazguil</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 6:29pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 10:03am<b>MrHurricane</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 8:52am<b>sillybilly132</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 5:47pm

nonameheffa's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nonameheffa's badges

nonameheffa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

by dumbwifehappylife / 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

by Lithiac / 02/04/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

by Can't Believe It. / 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

by bear food / 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

by Mels / 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

by Fiancé problemsss / 01/05/2014 at 2:11am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids