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nognog24

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nognog24

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  • Number of visits : 209
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nognog24's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46783) - you deserved it (9267)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (25676)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82385) - you deserved it (4296)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69088) - you deserved it (6158)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (44996)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50630) - you deserved it (6607)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42015) - you deserved it (15732)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39728) - you deserved it (9451)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (5259)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (4791)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (16340)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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