About noah_1234 : From san diego just moved to Minneapolis. Not enjoying the weather 😡. Anyway i like going to the gym and watching football favorite team is Seahawks. Don't really know what else to write so if ur bored u can txt me and my kik is sharif_96.✌️
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noah_1234's favorite FMLs
Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML
by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids
Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
by craZycatLady / 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML
by phones / 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by jigglypluff / 11/19/2014 at 12:27am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
by bri_sci94 / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by notautistic / 09/25/2014 at 9:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 11:52am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML
by skollasch / 09/25/2014 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health
by anon / 09/25/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by disgusted / 09/25/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML
by TooLesbian / 09/24/2014 at 10:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…