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ninjaqueen101's FML badges
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ninjaqueen101's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2014 at 11:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by thecaptainmorgan / 10/12/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML
by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML
by dumass / 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML
by IdiotNursingStudent / 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 7:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by rightlessonwrong / 09/15/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by berryjones11024 / 09/14/2014 at 10:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML
by lil_breezy / 09/11/2014 at 3:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
- Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a… Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in… Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He…