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ninja4228's favorite FMLs
by lovingthis / 01/09/2013 at 11:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
by VerbalDiarrhea / 01/08/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Dogless / 08/21/2011 at 1:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
by Username / 05/01/2011 at 4:20am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kentucky) / Money
by goodbye-college / 08/15/2010 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
by nolips / 11/19/2009 at 10:53am / Norway (Oslo) / Transportation
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by mandy / 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
- Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…