ninja4228

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ninja4228

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 660
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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ninja4228's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:01pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:41am<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:38pm

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ninja4228's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

by lovingthis / 01/09/2013 at 11:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

by VerbalDiarrhea / 01/08/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML

by Dogless / 08/21/2011 at 1:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

by Username / 05/01/2011 at 4:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kentucky) / Money

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

by goodbye-college / 08/15/2010 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

by nolips / 11/19/2009 at 10:53am / Norway (Oslo) / Transportation

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

by mandy / 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy