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ningyou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1731
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ningyou's favorite FMLs

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (5175)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35906) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32084) - you deserved it (4320)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (7755)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (2697)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35097) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (5137)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (3595)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34143) - you deserved it (5081)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8103) - you deserved it (27168)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38353) - you deserved it (10750)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (3841)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19419) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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