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niknakpattywak

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 2:29pm) | Search for a member

niknakpattywak

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2165
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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niknakpattywak's page activity

Visits<b>lramos42</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:58pm<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:42am<b>fractured_</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:31am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:36am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 12:59am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:11pm<b>je83185</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:34pm

niknakpattywak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of niknakpattywak's badges

niknakpattywak's favorite FMLs

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

#21520041
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (2722)

On 01/27/2016 at 11:35am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

#21518044
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19777) - you deserved it (7411)

On 01/22/2016 at 12:47am - animals - by swag papi - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super turned on at the sight of my large breasts all soaped up. I'm a man. FML

#21495827
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (8854)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (4733)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

#21477793
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (2585)

On 10/09/2015 at 3:06am - kids - by shh (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

#21477518
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (17508)

On 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm - work - by shitbucketsfilledwithshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my niece to the zoo. She was crying so I pointed out the chimpanzee to distract her. At the same time, he sat down and began to jack off. My niece won't stop making the same motion. FML

#21476872
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you deserved it (2094)

On 10/06/2015 at 4:42pm - kids - by elcee1987 - United States (California)

Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

#21473001
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31986) - you deserved it (5728)

On 09/26/2015 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by erphy21 - United States (California)

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

#21472629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by Thai that on for size (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

#21464751
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23838) - you deserved it (2247)

On 09/05/2015 at 12:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (1738)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2212)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

#21454264
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (8875)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by monster1109 (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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