Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2294
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nightfire2258 : I'm just another college student getting by on caffeine infusions and ramen noodles. I hope to one day clone and domesticate a Velociraptor. His name will be Jimmy and we will go on daily walks with the sole intent of scaring the crap out of people. Plus it will be awesome playing fetch! (For future reference: No I have not seen your beloved pet and/or loved one!) On the rare occasions I have down time, I enjoy reading, watching a good movie/show, or hanging out with friends. Yes my picture is intentionally blurry. It adds mystery and keeps the stalkers at bay. If I said something to offend and/or agitate you, please fill out the usual paperwork and submit your grievance to receive a complimentary box of imaginary tissues! If the information that I have provided is insufficient and you are not a psychopathic serial killing stalker, please feel free to message me.

nightfire2258's page activity

Visits<b>imarlee98</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:43pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 9:48pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:04am<b>kaileekristine</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 2:09am<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:24am<b>BandAid1865</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:39pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:12pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:48pm<b>hrebnym</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:13am<b>batah</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:47am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:06am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:27pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:00pm<b>Kyle_byrket</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:43pm<b>kdonut</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:35pm<b>PeppermintPenny</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:14am<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:56pm<b>Wallflowerchild</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:42am

Fucked!<b>imarlee98</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:46am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:01pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:07am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:26am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:49pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:46am<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:34am<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:53am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:51am<b>hrebnym</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 2:14am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 7:18am<b>annequenneville</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:30am<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:52am<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:37am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:10am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:47am

nightfire2258's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of nightfire2258's badges

nightfire2258's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (2841)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29363) - you deserved it (2536)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:06am - work - by -_- (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (57481)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46281) - you deserved it (4356)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36925) - you deserved it (3361)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:31pm - love - by ugh - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you deserved it (4967)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39351) - you deserved it (3557)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39664) - you deserved it (3738)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58842) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48712) - you deserved it (4424)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (8045)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: