Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Offline (the 08/12/2015 at 8:41pm) | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12667
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>hullarms</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:17pm<b>sugoi72</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 2:50pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05pm<b>AwkwardKryssi</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 5:23pm<b>mcore</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:54am<b>StephanieT97</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Cringey</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:35am<b>myanichole</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>SW5175SW</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:04pm<b>chlobo1122</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:22am<b>zeusdom</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>mikehomza30</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:26pm<b>toma1945</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:13pm<b>KingCeeJay</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:05pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:27am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:49pm

Fucked!<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (79)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (3132)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37150) - you deserved it (8188)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

#21362681
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (3256)

On 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by xxruby - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

#21362364
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (1843)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:19am - work - by O (woman) - Sweden

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39486) - you deserved it (3471)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (5372)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

#21361818
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34439) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (3137)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

#21361118
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33186) - you deserved it (3391)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm - work - by vaylosa (woman) -

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

#21361075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26495) - you deserved it (6258)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Malta



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: