About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.
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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs
by great / 02/28/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Love
by bobjope / 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML
by Y_Y / 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML
by MCForty / 02/27/2015 at 10:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by confused / 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by mags89 / 02/25/2015 at 9:18am / United States / Work
Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML
by ruthlessrobin / 02/25/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
by Sarah1330 / 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm / United States / Animals
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
by Like mother like daughter / 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by xxruby / 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2015 at 10:10am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Love
Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
by sammy18f / 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML
by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch / 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm / United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire) / Health
- Today, as I swung my leg over the baby gate on the stairs my foot decided to make contact with the… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and he thrusted too fast. It caused him to come out of me…
- Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I had planned a pig eye dissection with my students. I didn’t think it was possible to have…