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nightbirdblue

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nightbirdblue

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8264
  • Number of comments : 314
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:54pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:51am<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:01am<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:27pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 5:12am<b>icnburbbygrl</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:41am<b>Ikashy73</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:11pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:47am<b>possesedbanans</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:00am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:32am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:21pm<b>Viscouz</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:12am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:40am<b>tbro47</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 8:17pm<b>plan_Z</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:54pm<b>kaet</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 1:02pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:58pm

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (4139)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (3203)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

#21342840
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Ineedlotsofwater (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

#21342765
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:27am - work - by Mishlette (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (8957)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (3336)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (2214)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33985) - you deserved it (4996)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

#21341448
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32986) - you deserved it (2919)

On 01/21/2015 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (3652)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (4248)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31851) - you deserved it (4560)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32747) - you deserved it (3406)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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