Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Search for a member

nightbirdblue
  • Town/Country : Anvil, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2191
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About nightbirdblue : D E S C R I P T I O N

nightbirdblue's last visitors

SavannahSunshinesaocratescnparks1990Federgirljarobjentbrittany2230tweetypieLilTiki559kaet

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (2697)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (2555)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (4803)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (2747)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

#21104650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35151) - you deserved it (10064)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm - love - by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

#21104621
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33186) - you deserved it (3173)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by kaheera4 (woman) - United States

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35807) - you deserved it (2712)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

#21104459
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (2903)

On 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML

#21103637
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (6330)

On 04/03/2014 at 12:36pm - animals - by Cali girl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38738) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

#21102998
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41782) - you deserved it (5324)

On 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (5072)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37878) - you deserved it (8634)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
93 comments


Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: