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nightbirdblue

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nightbirdblue
  • Town/Country : Anvil, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2250
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About nightbirdblue : D E S C R I P T I O N

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (290)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

#20510343
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (1410)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (5010)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21986) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (3710)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (9783)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (5904)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (23501)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6876) - you deserved it (37819)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (2941)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (5029)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (1646)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (2234)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)



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