About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.
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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML
by JealousBratMuch / 07/25/2013 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
by sucksatlove / 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML
by ........................... / 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love
Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML
by chumpslolo / 07/25/2013 at 6:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 2:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML
by scrotumscratcher / 07/25/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by anon / 07/25/2013 at 12:44am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by how / 07/25/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…