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nicole1255

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nicole1255

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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nicole1255's favorite FMLs

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23900) - you deserved it (17154)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (4255)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (66163)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20429) - you deserved it (91508)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML

#13525435
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27668) - you deserved it (7969)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:41pm - love - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the airport with my mom, who requested a wheelchair for me, since I have a broken leg. I'm 24. Embarrassed, I insisted I push myself around, instead of an airline assistant doing it. A few seconds later, I crash into the same airline assistant, who then falls back into my lap. FML

#13060775
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8728) - you deserved it (25244)

On 09/15/2010 at 11:53am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19375) - you deserved it (28088)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (3302)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59173) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

#5975036
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36335) - you deserved it (6721)

On 10/24/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by marz88 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

#5964680
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (6562)

On 10/23/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14362) - you deserved it (36849)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML

#3285279
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (5508)

On 06/27/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Acneface - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64005) - you deserved it (8650)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (196197) - you deserved it (14664)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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