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nicole1255's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML
by betrayed / 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
by can't eat paper / 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm / United States / Work
by vivelawank / 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by tothebaneofkings / 04/23/2014 at 12:20am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
by only my life / 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous