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nickzpic's favorite FMLs
Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 11:36am / Afghanistan (Kabol) / Work
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
by idontevencareanymore / 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by bruised_scrotum / 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health
Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML
by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML
by Thanksalot / 11/30/2013 at 12:58am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
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- Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We… Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by… Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears.…