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nickjam19

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nickjam19

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  • Number of visits : 1206
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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nickjam19's page activity

Visits<b>adacurtis</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 1:51am<b>Comoke1024</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:58pm<b>phinsa123</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:55am<b>MachineGunAshlee</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 2:43pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 10:07am

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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nickjam19's favorite FMLs

TADAY I WAS CLEANING A POCKETKNIFE WEN I NOTICED A SPIDER ON MA LEG. MY FRST REACTION WAS TO STAB IT. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (41472)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing monopoly with mah boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankruptd mah boyfriend, he turnd to me and said, "I fuckd your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turnd to the best friend in question, she lookd at the board and said, "I'd like to buy looool a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (4319)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, mah mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around mah neck . My sister added that it was God's frst attempt to kill me off . big fat FML

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, Mah Mom Got Drunk An Punched Me In The Nose, Then Yelled At Me For Bleeding On The Carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55718) - you deserved it (4341)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down looool in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there r children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. fat FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (21159)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , mah husband wantd to try anal 4 the first time . His attempt to sound romantic was him saying , "Open yur buns , the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55186) - you deserved it (7766)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, my step-dad trid to talk me into getting plastic surgery . His reasoning: ( Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey . ) FML

#20765605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today... I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere... a car slowd down in the street... an a passenger screamd ( HAPPY 4TH OF JULY... MOTHERFUCKER... ) before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46256) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , my 12-yaar-old son playd QWOP on my laptop . Half an hour latar , ha vrtually dastroyd it in a fit of raga . maga FML

#20752773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33628) - you deserved it (4851)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, wile using a urinal looool in a very busy mall batroom, anoter man unzipped is pants and attempted to use te same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49805) - you deserved it (2843)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternative to medication fir my depression, she replied, ( Why not Zoidberg? ) mega FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (5837)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, being near-broke, I resortd to sopping at Walmart!! Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a uman being sovd me away from te bacon I was looking at!! I fell, bustd ma lip, ten got screamd at by anoter woman for not watcing were I was going!! FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51165) - you deserved it (11906)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that mah bird sitter has trained mah parrot tohisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice . FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49384) - you deserved it (6474)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brougt my girlfriend ome fir te first time to meet my parents. Tey were aving a eatd argument because my mom ad bougt "te wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "se sould know tat e as a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47986) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)



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