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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 12357
  • Number of comments : 752
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:29am<b>PierceTheSabrina</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hi_mynaneisslec</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Fatwahhh</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:10pm<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:40pm<b>ImposterDitto</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:11pm<b>rocker_chick105</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 8:59am

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (2765)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

#21373752
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29084) - you deserved it (2086)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:02am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML

#21371359
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (1907)

On 03/09/2015 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18181) - you deserved it (54591)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44319) - you deserved it (4015)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (14623)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32575) - you deserved it (1678)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (3391)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML

#21323138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30688) - you deserved it (2331)

On 12/24/2014 at 7:03am - misc - by jflac (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (3660)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (3432)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

#21263953
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (5130)

On 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (2229)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML



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