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newbiehere99

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newbiehere99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 February 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1139
  • Number of comments : 315
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About newbiehere99 : I don't look to people to give me what I already have. My confidence keeps me alive, my faith keeps me moving.

I'm really spontaneous. I'm only on this app for entertainment. I can be funny most of the time, but I also realize I'm not a comedian.

I actually dislike about me boxes -.-

newbiehere99's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:03pm<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 6:28pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:58pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:32pm<b>eiflyyyy</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:08pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:54am<b>FML987456132</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:02pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:47pm<b>who_else00</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:43am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Chanti</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:50pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:07am<b>emilycardona7</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 4:38pm<b>PaultheBukkit</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:06pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:59pm<b>theperononfml</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 12:48am

newbiehere99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of newbiehere99's badges

newbiehere99's favorite FMLs

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bartending . A guest was getting belligerent so I ad to cut im off . He calld me a bitc and trew te rest of is drink in my face before storming off . Te belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend . big fat FML

#20193528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

someone very close to me cummed out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38769) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today I took a pregnancy test . When I saw that the result was positive I started crying and showed mah mom . She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test . real FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (32604)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah step-mom threw out some of the ( boxes of junk ) in mah room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in mah family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (1581)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Yesterday , I was messing around with mah wife. I grabbed her boobs an said , "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me , mah daughter saw it. Now mah 3-year-old grl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (27455)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and mah parents are sitting across the room, eating. big fat FML

#20171321
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21652) - you deserved it (1418)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, trying to be kinkyhile giving mah boyfriend a blow job, Ihippd him with mah ponytail!! He was thrilld, until I accidentally head-buttd his dick!! He curld up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again!! FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (32884)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today , after I spent two hours trying to teach my grlfriend to play sudoku , she broke up with me , tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake , imaginary game to make her feel stupid!! FML

#20167793
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Yastarday, I had to taka my littla brothar to tha pool. Ha actad lyk a brat tha whola tima, an whan I told him wa wara laaving, ha ran away, slippad, an hit his faca on tha tila floor. Ha told my dad an stap-mom I punchad him. Thay baliavad him, an I'm groundad 4 two months. FML

#20167155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (1700)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend cummd and sat on my lap. She landd directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. mega FML

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

today mah boyfriend of three yeres, whom I recently got engagd to, askd me to take a photo of mah mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see wat mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30093) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Yesterday , mah boyfriend broke up with me. I cummed back home in tears , an eventually told mah looool dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room , where I heard him tell mah mum , ( She's gone all Taylor Swift again. ) FML

#20159285
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22645) - you deserved it (10366)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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