Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nesteremily

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

nesteremily

197Fucked!

nesteremilynesteremily
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1592
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 64 posted

About nesteremily : I'm a grammar nazi sometimes and a smart ass but I'm actually nice! I love barrel racing, show jumping, and hunting. I have 4 fur babies..if you don't like dogs I don't like you. I'm also a type 1 diabetic. That's about all the personal info you need.

nesteremily's page activity

Visits<b>daveydavidson111</b> - one hour ago<b>lkah</b> - 23 hours ago<b>kimeatszombies</b> - 23 hours ago<b>joco4</b> - yesterday at 9:30am<b>LPac5295</b> - yesterday at 8:08am<b>xnemesis1981</b> - yesterday at 1:26am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:12pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:38pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:52pm<b>dumboleredneck</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:48am<b>Joel17</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:48pm<b>BalamCruz</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:16am<b>davichoman</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:18pm<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 5:45am<b>prout92340</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:08am<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:06am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:47pm

Fucked!<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:52pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 6:06am<b>dumboleredneck</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:41pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:51pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:01am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:12pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:40am<b>dbpdp</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 3:47am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:06pm<b>ircs56</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 6:30am<b>MankDemes</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:11pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:50am<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:31am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:24am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:12pm<b>puckyou</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:15pm<b>maurice_24</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 3:33am

nesteremily's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of nesteremily's badges

nesteremily's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

#21412386
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (5535)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (4270)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (2608)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8588) - you deserved it (26054)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (4652)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

#19793957
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (1808)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by davav74 (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (8416)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (2527)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (5035)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (5408)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38322) - you deserved it (6417)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7033) - you deserved it (34190)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (4857)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (3569)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: