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nesteremily

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nesteremily

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nesteremilynesteremily
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 543
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About nesteremily : I don't comment a lot because like everyone says, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all," and I usually don't have a nice comment. I'm a grammar nazi sometimes and a smart ass but I'm actually nice!(occasionally.)

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nesteremily's favorite FMLs

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3877) - you deserved it (469)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (2219)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7335) - you deserved it (22775)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (4258)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

#19793957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22772) - you deserved it (1640)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by davav74 (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (7848)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28260) - you deserved it (2361)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (4639)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19564) - you deserved it (4925)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (5822)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6352) - you deserved it (32104)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24017) - you deserved it (4481)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (3228)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9642) - you deserved it (20938)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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