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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3576
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About nephilim241 : 31/M/Biker/IT Manager/London

nephilim241's page activity

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nephilim241's favorite FMLs

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (1727)

On 08/07/2015 at 1:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62202) - you deserved it (7876)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50176) - you deserved it (6984)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (2645)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48746) - you deserved it (9583)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60663) - you deserved it (5067)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50691) - you deserved it (23728)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (39981)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41382) - you deserved it (5908)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (53171) - you deserved it (6915)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48745) - you deserved it (7780)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (47552)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (6226)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

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