neonoodle

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neonoodle

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 67399
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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neonoodle's page activity

Visits<b>iam2fat4u</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 3:48pm<b>IntrepidPig</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 5:39pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:02pm<b>amberdea404</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 1:23am<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 9:52am<b>xxjordan715xx</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:50pm<b>red_pickle</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:43am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:02am<b>VeryMuchDutch</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:14am<b>LieBull2732</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:34pm<b>rwegner</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:41pm<b>sstahpp</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:03pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:43pm<b>AKanon</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:50am<b>opis34</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Pinky9506</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Che_Likes_You</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:24am

Fucked!<b>Che_Likes_You</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:24am

neonoodle's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

neonoodle's favorite FMLs

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

by tamp / 06/22/2009 at 3:47am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

by 8reth72 / 06/11/2009 at 10:17am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

by pissedoffandon / 05/06/2009 at 10:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Animals

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 10:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

by Aprilfools / 04/12/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

by HughGorgy / 03/20/2009 at 1:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy