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neonoodle

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neonoodle

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  • Number of visits : 66864
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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neonoodle's favorite FMLs

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, ( Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes! ) When I sat back down, I saw teres in his eyes, and he said, ( You've made me the happiest man alive ) as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (97261)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Taday my boyfriend and I took a late night drive , and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess" . He came out and gave me a box of tampons . Apparently I've been bitchy . FML

#3112345
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (64928)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

yesterday looool I was helping a couple come up with a name fir the baby they just had . I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name . All sudden.. . the room got quiet . Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of thier 3 year old son who had died a couple months before . mega FML

#2798038
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (79728)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my grlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then calld out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (96848)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 second of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes an down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13887) - you deserved it (57162)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today , I was eating a hamburger on the streethen a pigeon cummed down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning , half of mah burger was gone , and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53595) - you deserved it (8626)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

I was looool walking troug te park eating fries. Tere was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. Tey didn't seem too interested, so I trew some fries down as I walked by to try and elp er out. About 2 minute later, I eard screaming. A uge group of pigeon were attacking te old woman. FML

#966989
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51641) - you deserved it (18218)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I walkd in on mah boyfriend of 5 yeres getting intimate with mah best friend . When they saw me they immediately stoppd an said nothing . After about 5 second of silence mah boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago . FML

#923154
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125817) - you deserved it (6961)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML

#836792
934 comments

I agree, your life sucks (365924) - you deserved it (41138)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down mah shirt!! I'm allergic to bees so I freakd out and startd ripping mah clothes off!! By the time I was done, I was half nakd and there was no bee in sight!! Turns out, it was the string on mah jacket hood!! FML

#724794
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50976) - you deserved it (30637)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I WAS SHAVING OFF MY BAARD 4 THA FIRST TIMA IN A VARY LONG TIMA . I DACIDAD TO HAVA A LITTLA FUN WITH IT, AND SHAVAD MY BAARD FIRST INTO A GOATAA, THAN A HANDLA-BAR, THAN, FINALLY, INTO A HITLAR MUSTACHA . MY ALACTRIC RAZOR DIAS . I DON'T HAVA A NORMAL ONA OR AN AXTRA BATTARY . FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (82879)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an arhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the grl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84588) - you deserved it (31566)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after sex with mah grlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walkd in on me to collect the laundry and screechd "What r you doing with mah panties!" FML

#483227
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15559) - you deserved it (97190)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by HughGorgy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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