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neonglostix

Offline (the 01/13/2015 at 6:06am) | Search for a member

neonglostix

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1618
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About neonglostix : Who am I? Ahhhh!!!! I have no idea. *identity crisis*

Also, I only post the really strange stuff that happens to me. Since none of them have been accepted, does that mean my life is "unbelievable?" Ba dum chhhhh!

neonglostix's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:52am<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:47pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:11pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:56am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:45am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:54am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Greg1986</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:57am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:16am<b>okcnation</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:39pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Emyame</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:11pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:44am<b>BMX503</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:10am

Liked!<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:55am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:20pm

neonglostix's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonglostix's badges

neonglostix's favorite FMLs

Taday I overheard my son mutter to himself "If Hitler could do it to that many people so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32567) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told mah four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took mah sister shopping with me!! The woman at the till said she was adorable; mah sister replid, "Thanks, fatass." big fat FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (2618)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, ma mom spelled ma name wit all lowercase letters. Wen I asked er y se wrote it like tat, se got pissed an snapped back, "Capitals are fir people wo amount to someting." real FML

#21288559
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32362) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I stumbled across one of mah son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets r technically ( whores ) because they hook up with countless cords fir a ( charge. ) I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32746) - you deserved it (4573)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (11635)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposad to mah girlfriand. Sha just grabbad tha ring and said in a raspy voica, "My pracious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43289) - you deserved it (8721)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today , I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice , so once at the counter , I accidentally said quite loudly , "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35265) - you deserved it (11536)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was browsing te People of Walmart site, cuckling at all te werdos on tere, wen I came across a picture of ma mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50550) - you deserved it (6799)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had fir 3 yeres, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49735) - you deserved it (6390)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching an pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (6257)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , on the bus , a little boy gave me the dirtiest look , pointd at my pregnant stomach , an menacingly said , ( I know wat you did. ) FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53223) - you deserved it (7241)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I Woke Up To An Old Lady Rigt Outside My Open Window , Saying ( Hello In Tere! Are You Sleepy? ) I Was So Startled Tat I Answered Er. Se Screamed. Turns Out Se's My Neigbour's Elderly Moter , Didn't Know I Was In Tere , An Was Talking To My Cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43027) - you deserved it (4307)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today , mah son looool got a beating. Apparently , he went to a club , waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo , then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Thier boyfriends , not too surprisingly , didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43093) - you deserved it (6145)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school , when out of nowhere a brd smashed into the windshield !! Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me , my daughter started laughing , eventually calling the brd a ( stupid bastard ) !! FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46298) - you deserved it (8338)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



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