neonglostix

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Offline (the 01/01/2016 at 12:12am)

neonglostix

6Fucked!

neonglostixneonglostix
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2484
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About neonglostix : Who am I? Ahhhh!!!! I have no idea. *identity crisis*

Also, I only post the really strange stuff that happens to me. Since none of them have been accepted, does that mean my life is "unbelievable?" Ba dum chhhhh!

neonglostix's page activity

Visits<b>Julian_s1234</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:45pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:44pm<b>orios105</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:27am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:12pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 9:01am<b>Knaxer</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 6:45am<b>lilfox67</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:36am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:49am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:29am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:18pm<b>TurboButton</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:36pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:08pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:47pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:11pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:45am

Fucked!<b>orios105</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:27am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 4:19am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:07pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:43pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:55am

neonglostix's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of neonglostix's badges

neonglostix's favorite FMLs

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML

by Kidsthesedays / 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health