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nelds

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nelds
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 856
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About nelds : Hi there

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nelds's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14717) - you deserved it (18878)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39969) - you deserved it (2696)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (3667)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (3092)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18662) - you deserved it (6696)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8738) - you deserved it (68015)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (2742)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (3150)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so broke that I paid for a $0.28 candy bar with my credit card. FML

#16938704
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (10595)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:47pm - money - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39038) - you deserved it (3285)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

#14634381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7938) - you deserved it (25823)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42244) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version



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