nelds

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nelds

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1630
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About nelds : Hi there

nelds's page activity

Visits<b>slappygecko</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 11:18am<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 11:40pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 4:04pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 10:59pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:26am<b>derpman123</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:24pm<b>mcr101</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:38pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 2:59am<b>cowtipper44</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:44pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:44am<b>facelick</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:03pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:14am<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:12pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 5:35pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:35am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:34am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:36pm

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nelds's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

by boblaj / 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

by danny5191 / 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

by anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 11:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was so broke that I paid for a $0.28 candy bar with my credit card. FML

by Username / 07/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

by Username / 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

by noname / 12/13/2008 at 12:48am / Love