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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
natheitz's favorite FMLs
by pissed / 05/10/2015 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
by Bonnie and Clyde / 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML
by NevertheKool / 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money
Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML
by GotGasNotLuck / 05/05/2015 at 6:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Jobless in Seattle / 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Malíya / 05/04/2015 at 5:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 1:58am / Finland / Work
Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML
by tumblrinas_at_work / 05/02/2015 at 4:04am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
by I'm just sick, really / 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML
by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Iwtumn / 04/30/2015 at 2:15pm / Austria (Steiermark) / Love
by henrylikestreats / 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by TJRoy / 04/29/2015 at 2:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health