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natheitz's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
by Fartnonymous / 08/18/2015 at 6:59am / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML
by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/17/2015 at 4:33am / United States / Health
by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by IceWrath / 08/16/2015 at 4:14am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
by fire starter / 08/16/2015 at 12:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by johobus28 / 08/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML
by thekyledavid / 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML
by sendhelp / 08/03/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Utah) / Health
by LexiD19 / 07/31/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 2:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by dirtbikeguy / 07/23/2015 at 9:05am / United States (Illinois) / Animals