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natheitz's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML
by Shelling Ford / 08/25/2015 at 7:55am / Germany (Bayern) / Love
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
by Anon / 08/25/2015 at 6:10am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:49am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 8:34am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
by Fartnonymous / 08/18/2015 at 6:59am / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML
by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/17/2015 at 4:33am / United States / Health
by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by IceWrath / 08/16/2015 at 4:14am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
by fire starter / 08/16/2015 at 12:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by johobus28 / 08/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous