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natheitz's favorite FMLs
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Kids
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/26/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML
by AnonymousZOMBIE / 06/25/2015 at 3:23pm / United States (Louisiana) / Transportation
Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2015 at 3:06am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
by That escalated quickly / 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by Wonderful_0 / 06/23/2015 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Luton) / Animals
by hairstylistprobs / 06/22/2015 at 11:13pm / United States / Love
Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML
by Iamsosorry / 06/22/2015 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work
Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML
by PatientlyDying / 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML
by KingFML1 / 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
by afather / 06/14/2015 at 9:41am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids
by sorrystupid / 06/02/2015 at 3:42am / United States / Money
- Today, my science teacher called me down during class. He told me my grade was horrible and that my… Today, I got attacked on social media. In my bio, I had put "LAUREN I SEE YOU". I was talking about… Today, after months of hard training to reach my athletic goals and to help with body image issues,…