Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

natheitz

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

natheitz

2Fucked!

natheitznatheitz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6461
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About natheitz : Hi

natheitz's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:53pm<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:52am<b>frittszilla</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:04pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:05am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:25am<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:51pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:29am<b>paramor3</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Lunarlilly</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:58pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nathanislegit</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:48pm<b>D26</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:24pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:04am<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:15am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Dekat121</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:40pm<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:58pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:53pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:20pm

natheitz's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of natheitz's badges

natheitz's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML

#21345473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27422) - you deserved it (2244)

On 01/28/2015 at 3:07am - money - by nsb124 - United States

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34007) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

#21339665
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (8559)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (18750)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

#21337935
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (27018)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm - love - by everysingleone - United States

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (5147)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (8615)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (11268)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

#21328280
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (3685)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:50am - health - by hungry - United States

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (44457)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (4574)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: