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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
natheitz's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money
Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
by meranda_johnson / 12/13/2012 at 3:58am / United States / Health
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
by Aaron / 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…