Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

natheitz

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

natheitz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5058
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About natheitz : Hi

natheitz's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:25am<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:51pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:29am<b>paramor3</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Lunarlilly</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:58pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nathanislegit</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:48pm<b>D26</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:24pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:04am<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:15am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Dekat121</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:40pm<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:29pm<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:12am<b>edvin</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 1:24am<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:31pm

natheitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of natheitz's badges

natheitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11561) - you deserved it (154269)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26121) - you deserved it (2658)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

#20018901
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (1853)

On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16472) - you deserved it (15421)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (7835)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41936) - you deserved it (4812)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (16451)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

#20012679
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33599) - you deserved it (4398)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7145) - you deserved it (49572)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (6125)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (3156)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

#19995117
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (1766)

On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML

#19988318
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10674) - you deserved it (20065)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:17am - kids - by love_to_live - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (3307)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: