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natheitz's favorite FMLs
by Muina / 10/23/2015 at 7:08am / Morocco (Meknes-Tafilalet) / Money
by sniffmyzebra / 10/20/2015 at 3:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by RIPcareer / 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 9:17am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by screwyouchris / 10/16/2015 at 7:08pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Love
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2015 at 8:16am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML
by helpme / 09/25/2015 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML
by oh_lordy_me / 09/24/2015 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML
by ForeverAlone / 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic and trick me into missing my flight, so he could spend another day with me before I have to return to Asia for work. There is nothing romantic about spending 2 hours trying to sort out a new international itinerary with Delta's automated menus. FML
by ak47nd / 09/17/2015 at 10:37pm / China (Liaoning) / Love
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
by anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 11:34am / Luxembourg / Work
by nah / 09/09/2015 at 3:55pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML