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natheitz's favorite FMLs
by Anon / 12/04/2015 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, through a mutual friend I met with a girl from Netherlands for dinner. At some point, she told me I have an Antillean accent, referring to the Dutch Antilles. I was born and raised nowhere near those islands, but my former boyfriend of 5 years is Antillean. Now I have his accent. FML
by notfromanisland / 12/04/2015 at 12:41am / Miscellaneous
Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML
by Nightbird827 / 12/02/2015 at 9:34am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health
by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML
by sabotaged / 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 12:10am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I called a doctor's office for a referral. I was in public, so when she asked me what type of issue I had, I mumbled that I had a vaginal issue. After painstakingly having to repeat this several times, she said she was asking what kind of insurance I have. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2015 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by AlwaysAfraid / 10/23/2015 at 6:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Muina / 10/23/2015 at 7:08am / Morocco (Meknes-Tafilalet) / Money
by sniffmyzebra / 10/20/2015 at 3:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by RIPcareer / 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 9:17am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by screwyouchris / 10/16/2015 at 7:08pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…