natheitz

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natheitz

5Fucked!

natheitznatheitz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10151
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About natheitz : Hi

natheitz's page activity

Visits<b>H4H</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 4:47pm<b>PhantomKitty</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:39am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:31pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 1:53am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:23pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:19pm<b>joco4</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:32pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:59pm<b>naw</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:00pm<b>cdirick</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:42pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 1:48pm<b>durukanus</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:45am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 1:46am<b>Kane322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Stigorama</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:14am<b>uflorida21</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:47am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:30pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:29pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:23am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:53pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:20pm

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natheitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

by Anon / 08/25/2015 at 6:10am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:49am / United States / Kids

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 8:34am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

by Fartnonymous / 08/18/2015 at 6:59am / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2015 at 4:33am / United States / Health

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML

by IceWrath / 08/16/2015 at 4:14am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

by fire starter / 08/16/2015 at 12:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

by johobus28 / 08/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML

by thekyledavid / 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.