Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

natheitz

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

natheitz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4100
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About natheitz : Hi

natheitz's page activity

Visits<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:51pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:40pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:29am<b>paramor3</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Lunarlilly</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:58pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nathanislegit</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:48pm<b>D26</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:24pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:04am<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:15am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Dekat121</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:40pm<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:29pm<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:12am<b>edvin</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 1:24am<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:31pm

natheitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of natheitz's badges

natheitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (14479)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35456) - you deserved it (4452)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (3654)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (5704)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (4487)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (3479)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51425) - you deserved it (4985)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35374) - you deserved it (2934)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46334) - you deserved it (2504)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39939) - you deserved it (3408)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: