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natheitz's favorite FMLs
by Jioune / 07/05/2016 at 5:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by drpepperking10 / 07/02/2016 at 7:27pm / United States / Love
Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML
by fuckel4 / 07/01/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 12:23pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
by Catnip / 06/30/2016 at 7:42pm / Germany (Hessen) / Love
by Lua / 06/28/2016 at 1:09pm / France (Picardie) / Animals
by Muchacha22 / 06/20/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML
by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my boss brought us some small cakes from a recent trip to China. I opened mine and noticed a little foil packet wrapped with the cake, so I thought it was a powdered topping. I had a couple of bites before my coworker told me it was actually a desiccant to keep the cakes fresh. FML
by drymouth / 06/17/2016 at 7:51pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health
by spadesmollusques / 06/06/2016 at 1:13am / France (Alsace) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/01/2016 at 7:05am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML
by EyesofStone / 05/31/2016 at 9:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML
by justpeachy1989 / 05/26/2016 at 10:06am / Australia / Animals
Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML
by poorgirl / 05/17/2016 at 9:03am / United States / Money
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…