natheitz

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natheitz

5Fucked!

natheitznatheitz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10125
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About natheitz : Hi

natheitz's page activity

Visits<b>H4H</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 4:47pm<b>PhantomKitty</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:39am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:31pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 1:53am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:23pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:19pm<b>joco4</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:32pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:59pm<b>naw</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:00pm<b>cdirick</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:42pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 1:48pm<b>durukanus</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:45am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 1:46am<b>Kane322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Stigorama</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:14am<b>uflorida21</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:47am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:30pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:29pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:23am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:53pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:20pm

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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natheitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML

by spadesmollusques / 06/06/2016 at 1:13am / France (Alsace) / Kids

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2016 at 7:05am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML

by EyesofStone / 05/31/2016 at 9:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML

by justpeachy1989 / 05/26/2016 at 10:06am / Australia / Animals

Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML

by poorgirl / 05/17/2016 at 9:03am / United States / Money

Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML

by korbo7 / 05/16/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I bought a treadmill as part of my goal to get fit for summer. It doesn't look like it's going to get much use, seeing as how I sprained my ankle trying to get it in my doorway. FML.

by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 4:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML

by Nighty-nitrogen / 05/09/2016 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML

by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, working night shift at a nursing home, I can tell the difference between the smell of different people's urine. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the sensation to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

by Pee.H.D / 05/02/2016 at 1:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my now fully vaccinated puppy went to a restaurant for the first time. They allow clean, well-behaved dogs. He threw up everywhere from excitement. FML

by Pupluv183 / 05/02/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy