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narrowords's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
by lindsey789 / 10/07/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Alaska) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
by June / 10/05/2010 at 12:47am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by ohman / 10/02/2010 at 2:28am / Singapore / Love
Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 9:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by budapesthungary / 12/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by cheezmaster / 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love
Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
by Liz / 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
by Ash / 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 2Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at… Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good… Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all…