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narrowords's favorite FMLs
Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML
by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by Claire / 01/19/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
by dumping time / 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love
by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Transportation
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
by holyshitbatman / 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God"… Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through… Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and…