narkill

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narkill

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1940
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About narkill : I'm here to party hard. Watsup.

People need to learn to sit back, relax and look at the world around them as it really is. Everything is not always how it seems, fortunately enough.

narkill's page activity

Visits<b>stormrunner987</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 3:05pm<b>OfficialTjaye</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 5:28pm<b>doyouwantmedead</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:48pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 8:51am<b>J_Jay98</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:45pm<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:58pm<b>christinascudder</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:51pm<b>jurgen15948501</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:02pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:35pm<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:43am<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Zettaa</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:19pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:20pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:55am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 9:04am<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:27pm<b>thejpanderson</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:23am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:51pm

Fucked!<b>leah3691215</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:32am<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:32pm<b>EddySaBoy</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:33am

narkill's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of narkill's badges

narkill's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

by fuckfuck / 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

by SqueakingRetard / 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

by CatLady / 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

by thanks_world / 12/26/2013 at 1:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

by I am not amused! / 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous