narkill

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narkill

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1937
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About narkill : I'm here to party hard. Watsup.

People need to learn to sit back, relax and look at the world around them as it really is. Everything is not always how it seems, fortunately enough.

narkill's page activity

Visits<b>stormrunner987</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 3:05pm<b>OfficialTjaye</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 5:28pm<b>doyouwantmedead</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:48pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 8:51am<b>J_Jay98</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:45pm<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:58pm<b>christinascudder</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:51pm<b>jurgen15948501</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:02pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:35pm<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:43am<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Zettaa</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:19pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:20pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:55am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 9:04am<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:27pm<b>thejpanderson</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:23am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:51pm

Fucked!<b>leah3691215</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:32am<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:32pm<b>EddySaBoy</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:33am

narkill's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of narkill's badges

narkill's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

by Anonyme / 04/24/2014 at 2:57am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Transportation

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

by Gomer / 04/11/2014 at 10:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

by CurtisWogan / 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.