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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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nadnerbz's favorite FMLs
by x / 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
by Eganstein / 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm / United States / Love
by john r.t. / 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by 99Problemsandfml / 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by Midnightpearls / 11/02/2012 at 11:39am / United States / Health
by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 6:32am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
- Today, I was taking a picture for my girlfriend on her phone when a message from another guy popped… Today, my fiance decided that he wasn't ready to be married and that the engagement was off. oh but… Today, about 3am i wake up to dogs barking and someone banging on my door, so i go downstairs and…